This Week in Television - May 13-18, 2012

Once Upon a Time
Goddamn, that was awesome.  Being a big fan of the Beauty and the Beast episode, I loved their reunion (been waiting half the season for it), and juxtaposed with Henry's "death" scene all of the actors played the hell out of those moments.  Plus we got a handgun being fired at a fire-breathing dragon!  I didn't know where the show was going to go if they were already lifting the curse at the end of season one, but then the purple cloud of magic rolled in.  That is a WILD direction to take it next season.  Several months ago I wasn't expecting to be saying this, but I'm super excited for season two now.  Well played, Once Upon a Time.


Survivor: One World (Sunday Finale)
Very relieved and proud of Kim for not only doing the right thing in voting out Alicia and Christina, but for winning the game.  At the final tribal council, I actually thought Chelsea's opening speech and responses were the best and that she might win because of it, but she turned out to be the one who got zero votes, and Kim deserved it most anyway.  It was also unusual that half the jury didn't even ask anything, instead taking the opportunity to just talk about themselves - the worst not surprisingly being Alicia, who did nothing but brag obnoxiously about how awesome she thinks she is.  Her tearful apology at the reunion was not sufficient.  I mean I do believe she was sorry about her offensive comment regarding special ed students, but that's not something you apologize for; instead, you just don't say it in the first place.  Kat's reel showing how crazy she is was misguided, because it was just footage of her doing weird dances and physical stuff like that, when it should have focused on the dumb things she's said.  They didn't even have the technical proficiency to give it background music, or any audio at all.  An interesting concept for next season, bringing back three people who left for medical reasons, but it's surprising because Survivor usually only likes to bring back popular and/or memorable players, and I don't know that anyone who was medi-vacced can be considered part of that category.


Glee
So Tina is one of the most ignored characters on the show, and their way of correcting this problem is to turn her into Rachel for a few minutes and then have her accept that she belongs in the background?  Way to do the character justice, Glee.  And you're going to refer to Lindsay Lohan as "America's sweetheart" and Perez Hilton as a "Hollywood gossip legend"?  Um, exaggerate much?  Speaking of exaggeration, I think it was overkill to fix EVERY single character's problems in these two episodes.  I thought this was the season finale but apparently that's next week.  How the hell are they going to squeeze out another episode with no conflict left whatsoever?  You don't tie up all of your storylines in the second last episode of a season.  You gotta leave something open.  Even if that had been the season finale, it would've been baffling, because it felt instead like a series finale, and Glee is not one of those shows that even needed to make a "just in case we're canceled" episode.


Community
I don't know if there was a specific video game they were referencing, but it was awesome either way.  Annie and Shirley murdering the shopkeeper's family was really funny, and weirdly it makes sense that Abed would fall in love with a digital woman with encyclopedic knowledge.  And I don't know why Troy kept trying to jump into Old Man Hawthorne's mouth, but it was funny.  I think it shows some character growth from Pierce, not only accepting a non-white half brother but allowing him to keep a large sum of money.


30 Rock
Hmm, even though Elizabeth Banks was never going to become a series regular, I still wasn't expecting a Jack/Avery divorce.  I liked the jokes about Kim Jong Il being the greatest waiter ever, bailing on Smash (I only made it about three episodes), and the little joke about Lorne Michaels as his name popped up at the end of the show.


Community
Heist movies are a genre I'm kind of sick of, but the parody was fun here.  The plans are always so complicated and ridiculous - especially when disguises are involved - that I think comedies should be the only place for crazy heists.  But it's nice to know the Dean loves the entire study group, not just Jeff.


Community
The finale was somewhat reflective of the show itself.  Community was in the darkest timeline, approaching possible cancellation, and like a few other series this year, this episode was produced to serve as a series finale if it had to be, because the show's future was uncertain.  You could say Evil Abed was representing network executives, coming from a place where conditions are grim (NBC) and trying to ruin the show by transforming it into something more similar to everything else on TV.  But it wasn't NBC that recently fired Dan Harmon from his own show, it was Sony.  So I have no clue what season four is going to be like, but there is now a chance that it won't be good, and that's even more depressing than cancellation, because if this season had been the last, at least it would have ended without deteriorating in quality.  Six seasons and a movie will probably never happen, but maybe we can get four seasons and a movie if Dan Harmon wants to end it properly in a theater.  P.S. the funniest thing about Star-Burns having faked his death is that he still has the star-burns, as if a wig will hide his one distinguishing feature.


Awake
Another cool episode, though I can't help worrying for Mike, because if he investigates his accident too deeply, he may ultimately find out which world is real and lose his wife or son.  It was interesting when the deaths of Bird and Hawkins mirrored each other between the two worlds, though.  Also nice to see the green therapist getting a bit of screen time this week, as the red guy has been getting more exposure than her.


Hero of the Week: Kim from Survivor, for winning the right way.  On a hilarious side note, she apparently gave the idol she never had to use to Troyzan after the show, and he told her it was more valuable knowing it had been in her crotch.


Douchebag of the Week: Whoever it was that removed Dan Harmon from Community, his own show, without even telling him, because the show was too awesomely creative to have a large audience.  Not cool, man.

This Week in Television - May 6-11, 2012

Once Upon a Time
This was fun.  I liked all of the fairy tale characters banding together to help Snow White; it gave purpose to some of those slightly more stand-alone episodes because we were able to know who they were and what they're capable of when it came time for them to assemble.  Also it might have been the first time I've seen an entire army of fairies.  With all of Regina's gloating, I thought it would give Mr. Gold time to warn Emma about the apple turnover, but then when Henry showed up at her door instead I knew he was going to eat it.  The preview for next week's finale looks epic.

Glee
See, because this show has way too many characters, it keeps trying to take these shortcuts by creating attempts at beautiful moments when we haven't spent enough time with most of the characters - or the relationships haven't existed long enough - to be properly invested in them.  I can tell this episode was trying so hard to be moving and likable, but it just wasn't.  It was just a lot of predictable sap.  I immediately identified Brittany's dinosaur song as a Ke$ha (or "Key Dollar Sign Ha", as Principal Figgins likes to say) song in spite of being mostly unfamiliar with her music, because one thing I do know is that Ke$ha songs tend to be written so that listening to them will cause your IQ to decrease by twenty points.  Seriously, listen to the lyrics of a Ke$ha song (and the way in which they're spoken) and tell me it didn't feel like it was murdering half your brain cells.  I got the sense that "Dinosaur" was trying really hard to be witty, but without having the intelligence to know what wit actually is, nor the creativity to express it in an effectively original way.

New Girl
I enjoyed the ending with everyone dancing to Nick's cheesy mix tape in their rooms.  Seemed like a good way to end the season, although it would have worked just as well if they'd let Nick move out and ended with that as a cliffhanger.  I also appreciated that Nick and Jess still didn't hook up, because I was thinking they might do the played out thing where they kiss in a moment of passion and then start acting awkward and wondering if it meant something but leave it open for next season.  Nice to see that it didn't go in that direction.  Also I found it funny how much Schmidt hated the cookies in the opening scene.

Survivor: One World
It was really funny when they mentioned at tribal council that Tarzan had been wearing Kat's panties on his head, and then they cut to Kat in the jury box wiping tears away.  It's creepy, Kat, yes, but not traumatic creepy.  Although that was probably just a reaction from something else that the editors stuck in.  But then again it's Kat, so maybe not.  Why does Alicia still think she's powerful?  Because she thinks she had Tarzan and Christina in her pocket?  Tarzan is smarter than she is and had his own strategy (didn't work, but he tried), and Christina will go along with literally any plan that is suggested to her.  Yeah, Alicia, that makes you a mastermind.  I don't want to have to listen to her unfounded boasting if she makes it to the finals on Sunday.

Community
Interesting.  Another clip show (sort of), only this time using clips of the characters acting crazy in an attempt to convince them that they're actually crazy, in a delusional way.  They have spent time in a mental institution, according to the previous clip show.  And Shirley is clearly insane if she thinks Brett Ratner is a master filmmaker.  Watching this episode, I thought it might be an interesting direction to take the show if Greendale really didn't exist after all, but a direction that only would have worked if the show was going to end this season (which it isn't - yay!), because an entire season without Greendale - and with most of what we've been seeing proving non-existent - would be a less fun blank slate.  But it was a really fun callback to early scenes when we saw the hallucinated, asylum versions of events from previous episodes, and a great montage of all the crazy, pointless classes that Greendale offers (almost as insignificant as the list of fake night courses last season).  And apparently this year's paintball tournament was film noir themed.  Might have been cool to see, but then maybe not.  Hard to top the last ones, and it might get old if they keep doing paintball episodes.  But I like that it was at least acknowledged.

30 Rock
I like that Leap Day William made a cameo at Jack and Avery's holiday party.  Also a great device that Avery playing to Jack's guilt over his indiscretion ended up strengthening their relationship by reminding him how much he loves playing mind games with her - something that, from what I could tell, her mother wouldn't necessarily do on a regular basis.  I Saw the contents of the "Criss Points" board online, and my favourite thing on there was that if Criss trades in 275 Criss Points, he is allowed to grow a "joke moustache."

The Office
This episode had some laughs, including the penis-flavoured energy drink for gays, Andy intentionally spilling soup on himself to look pathetic, and the senator once again hitting on Oscar, but there were also things that didn't work.  Oscar trying to make an "It Gets Better" video while his co-workers interfere could have been hilarious, and probably would have been had Michael been there to stick his face in, but it was disappointing, and I would think Oscar would be smart enough not to attempt that at work anyway.  I like Andy getting his job back, in spite of not really enjoying him as manager, because it means Nellie loses the position, but the moment had to be ruined by his keeping her on out of pity.  I'm also intrigued by the return of David Wallace and the Dwight/Angela hook-up (for the eight millionth time) because they are reminders of earlier, better seasons, but sadly I don't think that will magically make the show as funny as it was back then.

Parks and Recreation
I was ready to be okay with Leslie losing the election, if only because it would mean going back to more of the same and that's not a bad thing when this show has been consistently hilarious.  But I'm also a big fan of Leslie and friends, and seeing them happy makes me happy, so Leslie winning was a more satisfying ending to the season and takes things in a new direction for season five.  It's going to be funny when sober Ann realizes she agreed to move in with Tom.  Although she does love his pad, so it might be even funnier if she goes along with it just to live there and has to put up with him.

Awake
Here we go, this is exactly the kind of Awake episode I like to see. Too bad it was named after my least favourite movie quote of all time.  Even worse, NBC canceled the show this week.  ...No, no, the movie quote is worse.  I'm sick of writers overusing it in comedies and pretending it's a good joke.  Anyway, it's interesting that Mike's hallucinations not only come from something in his subconscious memory, but they seem to occur when he blacks out - or, in other words, when he's been forced from one side over to the other.  Cleverly, the argument still works for both sides: you could say that if Red is real, Mike was having difficulty getting back to his recurring dream; or if Green is real, he was simply having difficulty waking up because his bungee fall was a hard blow.  I'm still leaning toward the former, but with the show ending forever in a couple of episodes we might never know.  "Bohemian Rhapsody" ended up being the perfect song to use in the episode because parts of the lyrics were so appropriate, but I think they replayed the clip of Rex and Hannah singing it one too many times.

Fringe
Dead Rebecca Mader's eyes rolling around independently of each other was disturbing to watch, but I'm not sure if it was that by itself or because it was a special effect that wasn't 100% unnoticeable.  I could understand Bell's point of view about how human society has ruined itself (just look at MTV's A Shot at Love - or better yet, never look at it), because it's partly true, but I don't think you can just throw a pessimism blanket over two entire universes.  The amount of corruption would have to be massive to warrant destroying them and starting over, and I personally don't believe that it is. As a whole, I felt this episode to be a little anti-climactic, especially for a season finale.  It was obvious Olivia would have to die in order to stop Bell (but not permanently, because she still needed to pop out a baby, and because she's the lead actress with another season on the way); when Bell was thwarted he just kind of went "Okay. See ya," and faded away; and then we were left with a not entirely ominous warning from an Observer that failed to make for an exciting cliffhanger - although for that reason it would have been a less disappointing cut-off point had the show been canceled, and maybe that's why it was left open on a more generic level.  However, the scene where Walter thinks a nurse's tray of urine samples might be jello was hilarious.

Hero of the Week: Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation, for making it happen.

Douchebag of the Week: I'm going with Alicia from Survivor again.  She might be a worse person than Colton.

This Week in Television - Apr. 29-May 4, 2012

Once Upon a Time
Thanks, Canadian television, for cutting off the ending.  It's not like I needed to see any more after Emma told Henry she needed to ask him something very important.  It's a good thing we have internet; for anyone else who missed it, she asked him if he wanted to get away from Regina and live with her, he of course said yes, and she decided they would leave Storybrooke. Anyway, seeing this episode puts last week's into an interesting perspective, because it was sort of the same father/son story with the same outcome, but with the roles reversed.  But I like the idea of a humanized Pinocchio slowly turning back into the puppet.  I can take or leave some of the twists they've put on the fairy tales, but I like that one.  Plus Miss Blanchard's speech to Regina was awesome.


Glee
It only proved what a pale and unnecessary imitation Coach Roz is when her character entered the episode spouting a whole string of unfunny insults, and all Sue Sylvester had to do at the top of the very next scene was call her "Black Sue" and I was laughing.  It's not just Roz's lame jokes; Jane Lynch has way better comedic delivery than anyone else in the cast.  I think they stunted themselves with the NYADA stuff, because while having Rachel and Kurt do nothing but talk about NYADA all season to show how important it is to them, it also made me sick of hearing about NYADA, and so I cared even less than usual when Rachel flubbed her big audition.  She and Kurt have been a little ignorant about it anyway; there's more than one way to make a showbiz career.  Not getting into some prestigious arts school doesn't mean your entire future is ruined, but apparently those two felt there was only one path and made no backup plans.  Mr. Schue would have done better to prepare them for that rather than force the dud students to have goals. And then there was the whole domestic abuse thing.  Apart from not handling issues seriously enough because Glee likes to cram them into an episode in small doses and then never mention them again (much like they do with some of the characters), the presentation of it didn't have me taking sides on the issue. I mean wife-beating is never okay, but giving that storyline to the manliest woman on the show and then downplaying it by telling us the reason was something small and the dude was drunk when he hit her, it took the gravity out of it.  If he only hits her when he's drunk, the solution is for him to never drink again.  If he can make that decision and actually stick with it, then I don't think it would be all that unfortunate for Bieste to go back to him; granted it's a big "if", but under those optimum circumstances I wouldn't consider it a step back for feminism.  And anyway, Bieste is literally as strong as Cooter is, if not stronger, and I'm not saying that makes it okay to hit her, but it does make her less of a sympathetic victim, and probably less relatable to domestic abuse victims because not a lot of women are built like she is.  I get that the message was that it can happen to anyone no matter how unlikely it seems, but what's the point of that message?  Fear-mongering?  Bieste may be an emotionally vulnerable person, but physically she is a tank and should be able to handle herself.  That's why this storyline is not helpful to the women who can't defend themselves.  It would have worked a lot better if they'd done this storyline in season one, with Ken Tanaka hitting Miss Pillsbury over his jealousy of her and Mr. Schue, who then would have cared a little more and brought the issue to the attention of all the students, not just the females, and thus it would have taken up more of the episode and gotten the air time it deserved.  This crap writes itself, Glee, where were you back there?


New Girl
It was cool to see Paul back, because it went well with the Nick/Caroline hookup.  Although it also seemed to push Jess closer to Nick, which I'm still not on board with.  Some good jokes about Winston's different earrings and the unusual things that give Schmidt boners (Asian Jess is an understandable one, though).  Bonus points to Jess for the Battlestar Galactica reference, and to the writers for remembering Coach with a little meta shout-out to Happy Endings.


Survivor: One World
Alicia thinks she's the most powerful player in the game?  What?  Kim has been controlling things since Colton left, and has an idol.  You're dumb, Alicia.  Kat's relationship with her cousin is disturbing, but her ridiculously low intelligence and misuse of the word "touche" will make for an amusing highlight reel at the reunion.


Community
I was struck by how many jokes they packed into the first few minutes of this episode.  I don't think Community's jokes per minute ratio is usually as high as that, and it was fun to see.  Was not expecting group expulsion to happen in the course of the series, although it may be a good excuse to prolong Community's time at Greendale if they get back in and have to repeat a year (and if the show is able to avoid cancellation).  I thought it was funny how nobody really cared about Star-Burns' death: Jeff mourned more for his summer than for the deceased, Pierce thought the comb Star-Burns stole from him might be inside his urn, Britta kept trying to put her Psych major to use, Shirley just wanted to sing "Ava Maria" at the funeral, etc.  Not that it's surprising, because they didn't care about him when he was alive, either.  The reference to "Remedial Chaos Theory" was very welcome because that episode is already a classic, and the Star-Burns tribute video was hilarious.  He probably has done all of those things...during acid trips.


30 Rock
On principle, I'm disappointed that 30 Rock re-did two of their concept episodes from last season (the live episode and the "Queen of Jordan" reality show - especially when laughtracks and reality shows are two of my least favourite forms of television), but on the other hand they managed to work because this season's live episode was funnier, and this season's "Queen of Jordan" still had more reality show tropes to make fun of.  Like Community's Law & Order episode, you can still get the jokes just by having a general sense of a very cookie-cutter genre, so I enjoyed them pulling out the sappy music when someone cried; referencing an unseen character and then explaining her lack of screentime by having her describe herself as someone who "pays her mortgage on time and handles conflict appropriately"; insulting audience memory by showing black & white flashbacks to something that happened only a few minutes ago; and exaggerating conflict wherever possible, like Kenneth vs. the cord he tripped on.  I think the story with Jack and his mother in-law's web of lies was a little dry, though, and I didn't like that it led to a Liz/Jack kiss.  Even if fake, it was too weird given the nature of their relationship and how unattracted to each other they are, and knowing that Tina Fey is opposed to those two ever hooking up.  Even Jack's nano-second kiss with D'Fwon was less weird.


The Office
While I didn't mind this episode, I didn't really like that they're retracing their steps in having Andy do something similar to the Michael Scott Paper Company.  They already gave him Michael's job and transformed his personality somewhat to be more Michael-like, now they're going to start giving him Michael's old plotlines, too?  I know it's not exactly the same, but it's close enough that they shouldn't have bothered to do it at all.  And, again, the Nellie scenes just felt like the writers trying to backtrack and say "Wait, wait, you should like her!", and while I found her less annoying this week, she's still not sympathetic.  But I did really like Jim and Dwight teaming up, because it's a rare thing and it's always fun when it happens.  Actually, Dwight teaming up with anyone tends to be interesting since he is more of a lone wolf who considers himself superior to everyone.


Parks and Recreation
I never get tired of Burt Macklin.  Andy's nicknames for everyone, and his treating the pie-throwing mystery like a puzzle when there wasn't really anything to piece together (and somehow solving it anyway) were awesome.  Also got a good laugh at the dancers coming out when Leslie learns of Nick Newport Sr.'s death, largely because I still find that "Get on Your Feet" song from earlier in the season to be really funny.


Awake
It was obvious that Hannah would turn out to have been right about Rex's girlfriend, but what this episode nicely set up was a reason for Mike not to move, resulting in the dramatic irony of him not knowing he's just endangered himself.  But I hope the conspiracy against him is more than just that his presence prevents some dudes from selling drugs.  That would be an inadequate reason for trying to kill his family.  P.S. Forgot to mention last week the joy of having a guest appearance by "Dr. Marvin Candle".


Fringe
Nice, another Lost castmember!  As cool as that episode in the future was, the problem with peeking into the future is that it sometimes ruins surprises when you go back to the past, like the reveal of Bell in this episode, Peter and Olivia contemplating a child, and Astrid getting shot (which actually was a little shocking, but we know she's not going to die because we saw her in the amber years later).  I'm wondering if it might have worked better to put that future episode after this one, and then we'd get that retroactive foreshadowing to set up the stakes for next week's season finale.  This Olivia's powers are way cooler than previous Olivia's.  However, she has apparently never seen Ghostbusters.  For shame!


Hero of the Week: Andy as Burt Macklin from Parks and Recreation, for solving the case, even if pie security failed.


Douchebag of the Week: Coach Roz from Glee.  Possibly the worst character on the show, and that's saying a LOT.

This Week in Television - Apr. 22-27, 2012

Once Upon a Time
This was a good episode.  I think the show has gotten better now that it has more of a direction than stand-alone, fairy tale character of the week type episodes.  And I have to give them credit for another plot twist, because I thought August being Rumpelstiltskin's son was going to be a predictable let down similar to last week's Fringe, but I didn't see it coming when it turned out he wasn't the son.

Glee
I'm not a Whitney Houston fan, but I was under the impression that most of the covers in this episode were vocally inferior.  Why try if you can't do it justice?  And why exactly did we even need the Christian kid with the dreadlocks?  Because there was no one left for Quinn to date?  God knows Glee already has way, way too many characters with an unequal balance of screen time.  Maybe the kids wouldn't run out of people to date if they stopped switching partners every three episodes.  On the plus side, we got another speech from Kurt's dad, which always makes an episode slightly better.  Congratulations, Burt Hummel, you are one of only three characters (out of 9 billion - see above) who make the show worth watching.

New Girl
I didn't personally find the tap-dancing joke funny enough to warrant it predictably coming back during Jess's dinner with Russel and his ex-wife, but I did get a good laugh out of Russel's trying-not-to-eye-roll face.  Other hilarious things from this episode included Nadia's list of things she likes about America, and everything involving Schmidt's penis injury - especially his line, "I'm almost positive Nadia's vagina contains a right angle."

Survivor: One World
Disappointed that Kim broke her word for no reason and didn't take Kat on the reward, but she kicked ass at both challenges so I applaud that part.  And Kim's strategic mistake wasn't nearly as horrible as Alicia's comments about Christina's intelligence.  Ugh.  Alicia is a horrible, disgusting person.  The fact that she's still there makes me like everyone else less for keeping her.

Community
I never watched Law & Order, but because all detective shows are virtually the same, the jokes still worked as a generic parody of the genre, so it was a lot of fun.  I knew it was going to be Todd when they asked him about the bandage on his hand, but I imagine that predictability was actually a part of the parody and not a symptom of incompetent writing.  RIP, Star Burns.

30 Rock
While the previous live episode was flawlessly executed, this one had a few mistakes and technical difficulties, the worst being when a portion of the episode was lost when they accidentally cut to commercial in the middle of a scene and came back in the middle of another (though I think it was only in Canada, so CityTV's fault, not NBC's).  I didn't watch the West coast version, but I hope it was done better.  Also, while I like the idea of doing parodies of old live shows from back in the day, it felt a little like an excuse for Fey and the writers to take a mini break from 30 Rock and do some SNL-style sketches instead.  That being said, I do think it was funnier and more entertaining than last season's version.  All of the surprise cameos were so much fun. Amy Poehler as young Liz Lemon doesn't physically make any sense, but it's still awesome because it's Amy Poehler, and Fred Armisen's random lean into the shot from the background was hilarious because he came out of nowhere and that's all he did in the episode.

The Office
This was a fun episode because I liked all the little threads going on.  Well, not all of them.  Darryl messing with Nellie was funny in theory because I like when Darryl takes advantage of stupid people, but even as a prank victim I still have trouble enjoying her.  The character's just not funny or endearing, in any situation.  And the mass pet adoption thing was just done a couple episodes ago on Parks and Recreation.  I've pointed this out a few times, but why does it always seem to be The Office that accidentally uses the same jokes as other shows in close proximity?  I liked Oscar and Jim's little competition about whether the senator is gay.  Although the same basic thing keeps coming up once in a while, and it always ends with Oscar thinking he's wrong after all, but then noticing another gay tell and changing his mind again, but I guess I find it funny that the guessing game is still going on.  Random, unexpected appearance by David Wallace, who is now a millionaire.  What?!

Parks and Recreation
The debate went a little differently than I thought it would, but it makes sense as a political satire that the crowd would be so easily won over by the biggest idiot in the room simply because he's charming and easygoing.  But Leslie's closing speech was great, April's advice to Tom (in a mirror of their scene last week) was another cute moment, and Andy reenacting entire movies was hilarious.  Apparently his recital of Babe was incredibly moving, as it made Donna cry.

Awake
Dammit, it messes with my theory that red is real if Mike obtained the knowledge of the baby from the green world.  But there are still a lot more instances of him using red info in the green world as opposed to the other way around.  Maybe the baby was something he knew about subconsciously.  I think the most interesting thing about all this is that it now makes the red world more valuable to him than the green one, because there's only Rex on one side, but a wife and grandchild on the other.  It's unbalanced, at least for now.

Fringe
Good news!  Fringe will be back next season, for a shortened 13-episode run, before ending entirely.  This episode in particular felt like it was wrapping things up for a series finale, though.  For all the writers knew, that's exactly what they were doing just in case, but now that there's another season left I'm sure we haven't seen the last of the other universe.  They only said they "may" not be able to turn the machine back on.  Plus there were ways to get over there before the machine was built.

Hero of the Week: Andy from Parks and Recreation, for knowing how to provide entertainment when the cable is out.

Douchebag of the Week: Alicia from Survivor.  Gross.

This Week in Television - Apr. 15-20, 2012

Glee

Why exactly is Mr. Schue forcing all the kids to have dreams and goals?  He teaches Spanish and one extra-curricular activity (which is, for some reason, treated like a regular class).  He's not even a guidance counselor, so it's not his job to get so aggressively involved in the futures of his students.  Although on the other hand, they're his best friends since he has zero adult friends.  The storyline with Unique was just Glee saying "Oh, wait, we haven't included any transsexuals yet!" and then slapping on the same "be proud of who you are" message that is included every single time a new character is introduced.  The only good part of the episode was Lord Tubbington doing household chores.

New Girl
Loved Zooey's meta shout-out to Bridge to Terabithia.  I don't think I liked Winston's storyline in this episode, and it's peculiar that he seems to get seperate scenes away from the rest of the cast more often than the other characters, but this new job of his is at least giving him something to do.  I actually kind of wanted Cece to be pregnant, if only for the comedic potential of her and Schmidt as parents, though at the same time it is a bit of a sitcom staple that can feel contrived if you do it wrong.  Russell's daughter was also funny with her sex malapropisms and obsession with Nick.  I think the latter might have felt creepier if she'd had more scenes with Nick uncomfortably reacting to her, but they wisely kept that to a minimum, and it was funnier for it.

Survivor: One World
Oh, Survivor.  I know you love playing the sappy music when someone gets a letter from home, but don't pretend anything involving Alicia can make the viewers weep.  She is the least sympathetic person on the show.  This season has now basically turned into not Troyzan vs. everyone, but Troyzan vs. Kim.  I'm not sure how I feel about Troyzan.  He is more or less a smart and capable player, but he's also being obnoxious.  I'm still rooting for Kim.

Community
I heard there was going to be a Dreamatorium episode, and that it was going to be very weird.  It was, but not as weird as I expected.  Troy saying he "didn't get Inception" could almost be taken as a meta comment on the nature of this episode, because I can see how some people might find it confusing even though it wasn't.  But having Annie and Abed impersonating their study group friends was a fascinating look at how they view the other characters (and themselves), and made for interesting juxtaposition given that Annie is sort of the heart of the show while Abed has trouble understanding emotion.  And it was hilarious that it did not occur to the Dean to change his outfit before going to the bank.

30 Rock
Kat was awesome in that she was like a young version of Liz, and just as funny.  The couch commercials starring Stacy Keach were also fantastic, as well as Liz and Criss pretending to be in a gay porno.  And I enjoy the running gag about Jenna's disturbingly violent relationship with Mickey Rourke, which I hadn't even noticed was a running gag before this season until I watched some reruns and found Jenna mentioning him every once in a while.  Could be gold if he ever makes a guest appearance.

The Office
Similar to last week, most of this episode just angered me.  I mean if you put a lot of Ryan and Nellie in the same episode, both being horrible but too self-centered to realize it (Nellie sort of did, but it failed to make her more likable), I am likely to pull an Andy and smash holes in my walls - although I did love that particular wall-punching callback.  The first time Andy did it in season three, he was overreacting, but this time it was completely justified, and kind of cute when Erin joined in his tantrum.  The second half of the episode was a little better for this, and for the enjoyable moment when Pam flat out tells Ryan she doesn't like him.  Oh, and the tag where Jim and Pam are secretly moved by Ryan's cheesy poem.

Parks and Recreation
Ah, I missed you, Parks and Rec.  This was one of those great episodes where every character got a chance to be awesome.  I think the more zany, unrealistic jokes on this show work best when they come from Andy - here inexplicably removing a ship from a bottle intact - because he is probably the most cartoonish character on the show, so he can get away with bending reality in a mockumentary from time to time.  Tom cheering up April was probably my favourite scene of the episode, though.  Being a self-centered tool (yet still a charmingly likable one) produces more of an impact when Tom does something sweet.  Leslie will destroy Bobby Newport at the debate, but I imagine his manager will have a trick up her sleeve because that episode won't have any conflict if it's too easy for Leslie.  But job loss stakes have been raised pending the election, and given that every single character on this show is so lovable, that's not something to shrug off.

Awake
To be honest, this was a mostly boring filler episode.  Don't have any more to say about it, but this was disappointingly the first episode I didn't find very entertaining.  Maybe it was the absence of the therapists.  I enjoy those scenes.

Fringe
Wow, this episode was pretty amazing.  The one complaint I have is that I knew Etta was Peter and Olivia's daughter pretty much as soon as she came on screen in the opening scene, and all of the obvious hints (everyone avoiding saying her last name, urgently pushing Walter about his team) only confirmed it.  It's rare that I predict something that well, so I don't know if it was a fluke or if it was really that heavy-handed, but the moment of reveal lost its power because of it.  For me, the biggest surprise of the episode was seeing William Bell inside the amber.  How does that dude keep dying and coming back so much?  Based on Olivia's absence and the "what he did to Olivia" line, I'm positing that he did something similar to when he inhabited her body, only this time he replaced the space her body was occupying with his own, or something like that.  Or maybe, if this is the future of the "Peterless" timeline, Bell never died in that one.  Anyway, this was one of the most absolutely riveting episodes ever, and having Desmond from Lost show up (the second biggest surprise of the episode, because I didn't know he was going to be in it) was icing on the cake.  I think I actually pumped my fist and went "Yes! Desmond!"  I love Lost too much.

Hero of the Week: Tom from Parks and Recreation, for making April smile, and because his bachelor pad is awesome.

Douchebag of the Week: Let's give Nellie a break and go with Ryan from The Office.  I haven't forgotten how much of a douche you are, Ryan.

This Week in Television - Apr. 8-13, 2012

Glee
Oh, I see, they had Quinn get in a car accident so they could throw her in a wheelchair (in spite of there being no physical evidence whatsoever that she sustained so much as a paper cut) and pair her up with Artie, because this is the show that unimaginatively paired up two Asians, two Blacks, two Jews, two blonds, and two cheerleaders. According to Glee, you need to have something visibly in common with someone in order to hook up with them. Or you need to be Sam and Mercedes, who couldn't have less in common visibly but that's okay because their relationship was never visible, either. And the star quality of Blaine's brother was greatly exaggerated. He's been in ONE series of commercials, but everyone kept saying how he was such a big, successful superstar. His fame level would, in reality, be just under that of the Old Spice guy, yet everyone's pretending he's Justin Bieber. However, I did find his terrible acting advice funny, so at least there was something about this episode I enjoyed.

New Girl
A somewhat average episode this week, except for the scenes where they played "True American". I have no idea what that is, but I have played my share of "The Floor is Lava" in my youth. Good times.

Survivor: One World
This episode was mostly just a lot of scrambling as each gender became paranoid about the other, but the highlight was Tarzan losing the immunity challenge even before Jeff finished saying "This challenge is on." That was just funny, and probably the fastest challenge elimination in Survivor history.

Community
Sad but true that women with low self esteem are into guys who treat them like crap. And low self esteem is common thanks to media pressure and inter-female cattiness, so all the douchebags are getting way more women than they deserve. However, I don't understand how that would make Britta full-on addicted to Blade rather than just attracted to him. Nowhere near my favourite episode of the season, but still some good laughs, such as everyone constantly asking why the Dean was at Troy and Abed's apartment, Pierce finally becoming a welcome member of the group - for about two minutes, and Abed's extremely specific stand-up routine.

30 Rock
The Woggles song at the end was great, and in addition to "Dean Cain", I believe I saw "The Lorax" on Jenna's sexual walkabout list. I don't really have any warmth for Jack's relationship with his mother, though. I'm more a fan of his unusual friendship with Liz.

The Office
I liked the opening tag with everyone forgetting whether Stanley had a moustache or not, and Jim and Pam sabotaging the magician was mildly amusing, but otherwise this episode was a little hard to watch. It made almost every character look like a jerk at various points, and as I've said in the past, I don't find Nellie funny.

Up All Night
This was probably the best episode since the pilot, which isn't saying much, but thanks to the use of Julian and the semi-sweet re-proposal scene, it was largely a success. The "wife lost her ring" is another sitcom story that's been done a lot, but I think they improved on it by setting up the idea that Reagan originally proposed to Chris first, and then having her give him the moment back at the end. If there's one good thing that came out of this show, it's that it humanized Will Arnett when people have stated that they find his screen presence weird or creepy.

Awake
Not as epic as last week (seems to be the case for most of the shows this week), but entertaining nonetheless. It feels like they teased us with the conspiracy thing just to remind us that it's there, and then didn't really make much progress with it (interesting tidbit, though, that Harper has enough of a heart not to want Mike dead). But I shouldn't be expecting a TV show plot to be fast-paced, because that's not how serialized television works.

Fringe
The scene where Astrid gives her alternate self (perhaps she can be called Asprid, since she has something akin to Asperger's?) a can of coffee is probably the cutest thing that's ever happened on Fringe. But I thought the frequency matching to cause destruction to both sides was an interesting idea, even though I have no clue why Jones would want to do that, assuming he has a motive beyond being psychotic. Fauxlivia seemed fairly distressed over Alt-Lincoln's death. I'm betting it will push her toward our Lincoln finally landing himself a Dunham.

Hero of the Week: Both Astrids from Fringe. If you watched it, you know why.

Douchebag of the Week: Nellie from The Office. Please go back to England.

This Week in Television - Apr. 1-6, 2012

Once Upon a Time
I'm not sure why they want us to sympathize with Regina, but it doesn't work. She's already been too horrible for me to feel sorry for her. This episode might have worked better than the one earlier in the season where she lost her father, except wanting vengeance on someone who wronged you inadvertently because they don't know any better isn't exactly a just cause. But it turned out to be brilliant casting, having the little girl from Bridge to Terabithia play young Snow White. Her resemblance to Ginnifer Goodwin in her facial expressions and performance was eerie.

New Girl
Winston's monologue at the end of the episode was worthy of applause, clearing people out and fixing everything just so he could enjoy his weekend. Nick's highly disturbed and disgusted reaction to Schmidt and Cece was also a highlight, in a different way than Winston's was last week. And I enjoyed the cameo by David Wain, who directed this episode, as a runner in the marathon. But I have to say it: can't blame the guys for thinking about Jess when they go solo.

Survivor: One World
Kim was the star of this episode, and seems to be the smartest person left in the game, so I am rooting for her. Although I don't like the idea of Alicia being carried by that alliance.

Community
While I had some minor problems with last week's episode, I wasn't expecting part two to arbitrarily be a parody of a Civil War documentary. The awesomeness of that makes me more forgiving of last week's outing because it was a set-up for this. It was done so perfectly. They even added the PBS telethon at the end, which was a nice touch, and snuck in a little Dan Harmon cameo in one of the "historical" paintings.

30 Rock
30 Rock has more or less already done versions of the stories in this episode (remember when Jack got Pete to wear a hairpiece to instill confidence, Jenna got revenge on the writers by locking them on the roof naked, and Tracy became more responsible at his job when he and Liz switched minority roles?), and perhaps last week's episode about repetition was a way for them to sneakily get away with this week's plot recycling, but the important thing is that it was funny. 30 Rock usually puts jokes above story and character, anyway, and that's fine with me. I think my favourite was Dr. Spaceman's line as he inserted the mini troll pencil topper into Tracy's nose: "Goodbye, only evidence tying me to my ex-wife's disappearance."

Up All Night
The one thing I chuckled at this time was Fred Armisen as Ava's physical trainer, inexplicably using Don Henley as a motivator for her. But otherwise it was mostly going for the easy, predictable jokes, as this show often does. On an unrelated side note, why did NBC feel they had to put Parks and Recreation on hiatus when The Office hasn't aired a new episode in a month? The whole reason they took it off was because there were too many Thursday comedies and not enough timeslots, but they just wasted four weeks of opportunity (okay, three, because 30 Rock had a double in there). Ah well, Up All Night finishes next week and then Parks is back.

Awake
That was one of the most entertaining episodes yet, and highly thought-provoking throughout, thanks to Mike's confusion and hallucinations. Being injected into unconsciousness in the red world made the green world, once again, seem like the dream, because it just feels more logical to go into a dream from that rather than wake up from it, live a whole day in the green world, then go back to sleep and continue right where you left off. The penguin, in my opinion, is meant to be a red herring. It appears in both worlds, but it showed up in green first and then, also in green, we learned where it came from. Seeing as it is a hallucination either way, it doesn't really matter where it came from. Being in both worlds just makes green's reality a little more deceptively plausible due to the uncertainty of the penguin's genesis - i.e. it is as equally possible that Mike pulled it out of the dream as it is that he put it into the dream, because the penguin book exists in his memory. Hallucinating Dr. Lee in the hospital, however, is different. If the green world turns out to be real then Lee is a major clue, because if Mike can imagine Lee and his stock of psychological advice whenever he wants, who's to say he isn't always imagining Dr. Lee? But it is for this reason that Lee may also be a red herring if the red world is real. The fact that Dr. Lee never made an appearance in the green world may also be significant. My brain is hurting now.

Fringe
I'm actually kind of surprised that Lincoln became a big enough character to have an episode centered on him, because to me he's always felt somewhat insignificant to the show. I mean he's important to the Fringe team, but to the show itself, he's just kind of there not being noticed by Olivia. But he was used very well here to demonstrate why the current iteration of our universe, which had gotten along without an adult Peter until recently, is slightly different than we remember it. It's not just the absence of Peter, because the alt-world was always Peterless; that this iteration had no Peter in either universe, yet they still differ from each other, lends credence to free will and the idea that if you kept resetting the world, it would play out a little differently every time. But not 100% different; there are still certain time landmarks that will always happen and can be used by the observers as checkpoints. Or something.

Hero of the Week: Winston from New Girl, for his awesomely funny and effective monologue that was topped off by having a bowl of cereal.

Douchebag of the Week: Regina/Evil Queen from Once Upon a Time, because she apparently doesn't understand when vengeance is justified.

This Week in Television - Mar. 25-30, 2012

Once Upon a Time
It was interesting that they gave a reason behind the Mad Hatter making all those hats, but like Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland I don't think it's within the spirit of the original setting to apply logic to any of the characters or events from Carroll's work. I like that Emma is starting to believe in the fairy tales, because it takes the show in a new direction. Maybe that mysterious "writer" who came to town intended to make Emma believe so that she could break the curse and then, if he really is a writer, he intends to write the fairy tale book about Emma saving Storybrooke.

New Girl
While funny, I think this episode was somewhat forgettable, but the best part for me was Winston's reaction to Schmidt and Cece. Way to be funny again, Winston. Not really buying the chemistry between Jess and Russell as a romantic couple. Friends, maybe, but I think there is too much difference in both age and lifestyle for it not to be a little weird. But as I said last week, I support the prolonging of a Jess/Nick hookup.

Survivor: One World
Sometimes the players get rid of "threats" way too early, and sometimes they don't get rid of them at all even when there's a perfect opportunity. Why is everybody worrying about the jury when there isn't even a jury yet? If you're going to vote out a threat when there's 12 people left, you vote for someone who is good at challenges, not Jonas. But Tarzan trying to convince everyone that it was dirt in his underpants and not poop was funny.

Community
I can't put my finger on it, but something about the storylines in this episode didn't quite feel like Community. Maybe it was because there were three seperate sub-groups and not enough time with the whole cast together. I don't know. It felt off. But the Britta/Subway romance was funny, which also led to Pierce hilariously drinking a dangerously unhealthy amount of ink. I don't think I enjoyed the fort-building as much, because Troy and Abed are so great to watch as friends that I actually feel a sense of melancholic disharmony watching them fight. Maybe that's what nagged me about this one.

30 Rock
I love Jack's "shower principle." It's completely true: the mind creates good ideas to entertain itself when the body is busy with mundane activities. Or at least mine does. I like the idea that a journal can be a cheat sheet for a predictable, repetitive lifestyle, although it suggests that Liz's solutions are just temporary fixes and not preventative measures. While Liz drew comparisons between Hazel and Kenneth because they're both weird pages, Hazel actually acted more like Jenna in this episode: psychotically selfish.

Up All Night
Surprisingly, I found something funny in this episode, and that was Julian's sleaziness ("Is this the 'ladies I'd like to do it with' convention?"). I wish they would use him more, but he is a sparse tertiary character.

Awake
When they throw out these episodes that hint someone knows about Mike's double life, it makes the show more interesting than just a police procedural with a cool twist, so I'm all for it. If this Gemini knows about the dual worlds, then it's possible that either he is himself experiencing the same thing, or, because I believe the green world is a dream, he is the part of Mike's subconscious that secretly wants to know which world is real, the part that Mike has to fight if he wants things to remain the way they are. I kind of want Mike to go to Oregon just to see what that would be like.

Fringe
It's almost ingeniously lazy to reuse a case from a previous season but be able to tweak it because of the new rules of this season. I really liked the idea of Walter saving up gifts for Peter; it provided some nice moments. In fact, I think I enjoy Walter and Peter's father/son relationship more than the Peter/Olivia romance. Lincoln tasting the smoothie antidote was also a highlight due to how funny it was. Poor sap is into Olivia in every universe but he's stuck in the friend zone. It's his own fault for not liking peanut butter.

Hero of the Week: Walter from Fringe, for caring enough to get his dead son some beer and porn.

Douchebag of the Week: Vice Dean Laybourne from Community, for disturbing the Troy/Abed friendship. THEIR HANDSHAKE INVOLVES HEART PATTING!

This Week in Television - Mar. 18-23, 2012

Once Upon a Time
I can buy that David remembered a fragment from the fairy tale world - I knew it would happen as soon as he stepped into the psychiatrist's office - but how would he not mention the part where Mary Margaret had long hair and was wearing medieval adventurer gear? If he wasn't supposed to have remembered what she looked like at the time, then they didn't do a good enough job illustrating how hazy the memory was. I also noticed that this episode was heavy with catchphrase-type lines (though Kitsis and Horowitz, the creators, did write TRON: Legacy, so it's not surprising), and seemed like it was attempting to fit in nearly all of the show's established characters. But they are finally building toward something, and for that I thought this was ultimately one of the series' stronger episodes.

New Girl
The storyline with Winston and his lady friend worked better with Schmidt added in, and I think I much prefer it when Schmidt is a more self-aware douchebag, voluntarily stuffing cash into the douchebag jar even when no one is around. That is a funnier, more likable (and tolerable) version of the character. Nick is becoming more and more a pathetic bum with every episode, but again I think it's a funny direction to take the character, so no complaints. I'm proud of this show's progress, as I recall in the pilot when Jess was the only character I found funny, and now we have a more well-rounded cast. I am wary of the show's hints that Jess will end up with Nick (this week her description of the guys she dates sounded like him), because I think romances on comedies work better with guest stars than between castmembers. So it's good that this cool rich guy showed up, at least for now.

Survivor: One World
Evil Colton gets taken out by karma! Awesome. Now if only the same thing would happen to Alicia. She and Colton were just being unnecessarily mean to Kristina. They're not good people. And Jeff seems to be catching the fever, as he has now taken his biased commentary one step further to outright insulting poor challenge performers. To be fair, he was mostly insulting Alicia, who deserves no sympathy due to her behaviour, but knowing Probst I'm sure it had less to do with who she is and more to do with her performance in the challenge, so he's still a dick.

Community
With all of the crazy impersonators running around in addition to the unusual amount of graphics and special effects, this episode was weird, but in a good way. It was still funny - Dean Pelton's reaction to Jeff in aviator glasses was priceless - but it also went to some serious character places, such as Troy and Abed having to confront the problem of excessive escapism, and Jeff struggling with his ego. If they continue those quirky peeks into Jeff's internal organs, we might one day get a Jeff Winger Operation game that includes a slot machine heart and ego apple.

30 Rock
For the record, I know who Krang is and would love to see a sketch about him. But I would settle for characters just repeatedly using "Krang" in sentences. I was surprised that they would pull Kenneth out of his new job so soon after spending the last few episodes lining it up so the character had something fresh to do. Maybe the writers just said "it would be funny if Kenneth was a janitor, but he would never quit his page job and we already fired him, so how do we get him there?" and the promotion story was born. But it does leave room for potential parallels to when Jack worked his way back to the top from the bottom.

30 Rock
Like the last time they aired double 30 Rocks, one of the episodes was clearly more awesome, and that was this one. Billy Baldwin playing an actor playing Jack Donaghy in a TV movie? Nice touch. (I imagine Billy is the brother Alec is closest to, but I don't know why I imagine that.) Weird Al Yankovic parodying Jenna's song, and then reverse-parodying her when she tries to outsmart him by writing one that's already silly? Genius. Kenneth's admission that he lies to himself every day and is close to breaking point, in what is the most depressing Kenneth moment in the entire series? ...Disturbing. In Canada they cut off the ending tag where Weird Al sings the theme song, but thanks to Youtube I was able to enjoy the extra meta joke about 30 Rock's ratings and fans.

Up All Night
It was kind of obvious Chris was going to do all the things Reagan told him not to do when he got on air, and then they just went to the old "working with spouse = bad" storyline. This show just doesn't have much imagination comedically - or often even dramatically - and with the way the writing has been, it probably would have worked better as a laughtrack sitcom. And when I say "better", I still mean lame, but the live format is more appropriate for unimaginative humour.

Awake
Apparently this episode was aired out of order, which shows because Rex is still distant and angry when he was supposed to have grown closer to his dad last week. But it was interesting that they used the dual realities this week to explore someone's life going in two opposite directions, even if one of them isn't real.

Fringe
The love potion thing was an interesting concept, but they didn't explain what happened to that dude's face. I know the deformity was likely his motivation for wanting to create a love potion, but seeing as this is Fringe, I was expecting some kind of horror story behind it. But I can't say I was moved by Peter and Olivia's reunion; they've been apart so long now, I can't even remember if I ever "shipped" them.

Hero of the Week: Weird Al Yankovic on 30 Rock. I may have mostly outgrown his music, but he's still Weird Al.

Douchebag of the Week: Alicia from Survivor, because it horrifies me that she is actually a special ed teacher. What does she teach them, gym?

This Week in Television - Mar. 11-16, 2012

Once Upon a Time
Interesting twist. I wasn't expecting that Ruby would be Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf, but mostly because this show, while altering the original fairy tales, hasn't been huge on reversal plot twists. Not really that interested in what happened to David's wife, though.

New Girl
There was a lot of focus on Schmidt playing bongos, and it wasn't a funny gag, but I like that they at least used this episode to establish him as the one who keeps the place clean. It was understandable that Jess might try to change him, but if the state of the apartment is that horrible without him, then they need Schmidt to be the way he is. The stuff with Nick owing Winston money was funnier, but kind of made Nick look like a douche.

Survivor: One World
The promo spoiled the twist again, so I was nowhere near as shocked as Survivor wanted me to be because I knew a tribe switch was coming. Tribal council was funny, with Tarzan having trouble with names and Leif complimenting Monica, they made it look like Colton's vote was going to be screwed. I would've loved it if that happened. But I'm hoping that Kim and Chelsea can use their new idol to mess up Colton and/or his idol, once the merge happens.

Community
It's so nice to finally have Community back. That hiatus was, in a way, worse than a summer break, because during a hiatus it's off the air when it doesn't need to be. I think it was smart of them to use "Season One Pierce", i.e. the more lovable, senile old goofball, because as fans we want to be happy to see the characters back, and it would be a little grating if they slapped us in the face with "Bully Pierce". And of course a lot of great gags, including the racist camera, the callback to Jim Belushi's mediocrity, Troy and Abed trying to act normal, and the contents of Jeff's slot machine heart (I think I saw Alicia Witt in there). While I love the more creative episodes, like the multiple timeline one earlier this season, this was the perfect one to return with, because it was just some warm, joyous time spent with the characters we love being themselves - even Troy and Abed, because their peculiar attempts to be different people were still indicative of who they are.

30 Rock
I enjoy watching characters play games, so seeing Jack Donaghy get stomped at a roleplaying tabletop game and then figure out how to get back on top was awesome. It's also funny every time Dennis tries to win Liz back, but luckily Liz has learned not to get sucked into his vortex of destructive failure. Also, there were Hulk hands.

The Office
As much as I liked Andy and Erin together in the past, I wasn't feeling their chemistry in this episode. And I'm not really enjoying the character of Nellie, and not because she seems to have stolen Andy's job. More because her comedy seems forced, as if the writers think that the more Catherine Tate keeps talking, the funnier she'll get. Unfortunately, there is news that James Spader's leaving, which means Tate's probably sticking around. Robert California wasn't as awesome this season as he was in his job interview in last season's finale, but he was at least interesting. I don't know how many guest star bosses they intend to have, or when the series will finally wrap up, but here's my idea for an ending: Ricky Gervais finally gets the manager position, makes a "that's what she said" joke in his first five minutes on the job, and then cut to a talking head of Jim, who says, "Aaaaaand we're back where we started."

Up All Night
I don't like this new boss dude at all, and his presence in the episode somehow made it feel like a Canadian sitcom (meaning very dry). But I didn't see it coming when Ava's "little sister" back-stabbed her to get in with the cool girls, so I appreciated the surprise. Ava's attempts to insult them were clearly lame, but I thought the girls would just walk away unaffected and Ava would shout some more unfunny insults at them or something. Bonus: Will Arnett said "I've made a huge mistake" in this episode.

Awake
It seems to me that the red world (where his wife survived) is the real one, and the green world is the dream, because in this episode and last week's he used the red world to gain information for the green world. Information that it would have been very unlikely for him to know subconsciously. It's more reasonable that he would seek out knowledge in real life and then use it in the dream, because the other way around implies that he basically has psychic abilities, and I don't think this is that kind of show. But it's only episode three, so who knows.

Hero of the Week: Jack Donaghy from 30 Rock, for turning a barren desert into a field of glass.

Douchebag of the Week: Nellie from The Office. I'd rather she went away.

This Week in Television - Mar. 4-9, 2012

Once Upon a Time
It felt a little like a rehashing of the tremendous Beauty and the Beast episode, only not as good but still better than most episodes. I have to say it wasn't easy to take that actor seriously as a dwarf in love when I remember him as the angry guy who tried to steal George's parking space on Seinfeld. I don't think his infatuation was subtle enough. Having Emilie de Ravin show up again made it slightly better, but when I saw her name in the beginning credits I was hoping we'd see the locked up Storybrook version of her.

New Girl
Another enjoyable episode, except for the part with the singing and rapping, and the fact that Winston not wanting to let go of his crappy van felt way more like a Nick story. Maybe it actually was written originally for Nick, but Nick already had something to do and Winston didn't, so they threw it in. Speaking of Nick, "I can taste my spine" was one of those brilliantly simple lines that worked better than any other joke in that scene. I didn't think it was possible for Zooey Deschanel to be even more adorable, but then she did the Daffy Duck lisp. Well played, Zooey.

Survivor: One World
That was just insulting at the reward challenge when they made the tiles glow so we could see how they lined up when it was already the most obvious thing in the world. I know reality shows regularly insult viewer intelligence, but wow, that was even worse than Americans putting a blue dot on the puck during televised hockey games. And the tribal council was so stupid. Colton is a spoiled, self-centered prick and none of his reasons for hating Bill were even valid, but for some reason Bill is so unbearable that it warrants giving up immunity just to get him out as soon as possible? No. Everything Bill said was reasonable and sensible. The only person who requires that kind of emergency boot is Colton himself. Between that and Probst unnecessarily rubbing in the womens' immunity loss both during and after the challenge, I'm not sure which one of them should win Douchebag of the Week. ...Okay, yes I am.

30 Rock
Jack always seems to underestimate his nemeses and get easily duped by them. It was obvious Kaylie was lying even before Liz suggested it to Jack, because she did it in her previous appearance, and similar things have been done with Devon Banks. But you can't be disappointed with a preface like "Jack vs. Kaylie Round 2: No Subtitle Necessary." Or a silly Mrs. Doubtfire style ending tag with Liz trying to keep up the male persona she invented when comforting Kenneth in the bathroom.

Parks and Recreation
I was actually thinking about Andy's Women's Studies class not too long ago and wondering if they would ever get back to that. Glad to see that they did. I like that April is becoming like this quiet little guardian angel who secretly likes cheering people up. Her explanation about Chris leaving her alone if he gets a girlfriend may have been in part what motivated her, but I think the other half is that she knows how much it sucks to be in that heartbroken position because she went through it with Andy. It was perhaps a step in the right direction that Tom was so focused on not breaking up with Ann again, and it was nice to see them not fighting for a bit even if they felt more like friends than anything more, but then it was two steps back when he presented her with flavoured condoms. Oh, Tom, you lovable douche.

The Office
This felt like one of those transition episodes where nothing is really great about it because it's too busy setting up for a (hopefully) more promising follow-up episode. There were only a couple of little gems this week, like Dwight's treasure trap at the beginning and Kevin thinking that Toby bangs hot supermodels (and Toby subsequently letting him by neither confirming nor denying it). I think Toby's glasses, which I don't recall having seen him wear before, added to his dweeby loser look and thus enhanced any jokes directed at him. I have always found Toby's bored, dissatisfied facial expressions funny but the glasses somehow made him even more hilariously pitiful. Actually, a season or two ago they also had Ryan suddenly wearing similar glasses out of the blue, but because it's Ryan I immediately understood that he was doing it as part of nerd chic. Toby either actually needs them or is jumping on the bandwagon too late because he's Toby. An interesting subtlety if it's the latter.

Up All Night
Comedically unsatisfying, but I enjoyed watching Chris and Reagan with their new friends, accepting the double-edged sword that is spending time with someone who is exactly like you, and then falling out over parenting conflicts. But they were completely right. Way too many parents have no clue how to properly discipline their children, yet think they do. The stuff with Ava and the new boss was boring, though. I'm not sure if her quips during the poker game were supposed to be funny-funny or ironic-funny, but for me they were neither.

Awake
Interesting. In some ways, this was like the reverse of the pilot: last week, Mike solved his cases by using clues from opposite universes; this week, he was able to slightly improve his family life by using that technique at home, but only one case got solved at work. There's no way of knowing why someone would have wanted to destroy his family and not just him, but I've realized that if Mike only seems to switch over when he goes to sleep, meaning he spends a day at a time in each universe rather than the same day both times, and no one ever says "Why were you missing for a whole day?", then that could quite possibly prove that one of them actually is a dream. Hmm...

Hero of the Week: April from Parks and Recreation, for secretly caring.

Douchebag of the Week: Colton from Survivor. He's not a Russell Hantz or a Johnny Fairplay. He's just a horrible human being.

This Week in Television - Feb. 27-Mar. 2, 2012

Smash
Okay, I'm dropping this show. The characters are just too insufferably full of themselves. I mean most shows might have one character like that, but an entire cast? On top of that, the writing and directing was so heavy-handed this episode, with all of the lingering glances, and Karen being physically pushed and bumped by Ivy, and the uninspired attempts at humourous lines that were clearly not written by anyone who knows anything about comedy. It's surprising that I have to say this, but as frustrating as Glee is, it at least has a very small amount of merit, and rather than be annoyed by the New Directions kids I'm just indifferent to them. I suppose it's an accurate depiction of show business if everyone involved is egocentric, it just doesn't make for a good collection of characters that I would want to care about. I might not mind so much if Karen was the center of the show, and they didn't go off into these B and C stories where they try to pretend these other snobs are likable or interesting, but this is not a show about Karen, it's about a cheesy Broadway play, and so I quit.

Survivor: One World
They usually do a memory challenge later in the season, after everyone's mental prowess has deteriorated. I almost feel like the producers condescendingly said "The women are too weak to win at a physical challenge, let's throw them a memory thing." Very glad to see Matt go, as he seemed like the biggest douche on the tribe.

30 Rock
I think the best part of this episode was Tracy and Jenna playing detective (loved Jenna's terrible cop show parody with poor attempts at character development in her blatant referencing of a dead husband), but it put Jack into an interesting perspective when he was so preoccupied with getting ahead at work that he couldn't even recognize a friendship as a friendship. A lot of people complain about Kenneth these days, and 30 Rock seems to be listening because they've actually given him a multi-episode arc so he'll have something to do for a while. Don't know if he'll get high enough to succeed Jack's job, but it might make for an epic season finale if they're forced to go head to head.

Parks and Recreation
I didn't believe that Bobby Newport's vacation canoodling was actually some international deal; Leslie shouldn't have fallen for it. It was obvious in the newspaper photos that it was purely for leisure, and after meeting Bobby in a previous episode, it was clear that he wasn't going to be working hard in favour of the city. Also, ramps are still better than electric lifts because if the lift breaks down, you're screwed. Why would nobody bring that up? The water fountain and water fight stuff were fun, though when they solved the problem I almost expected Andy to just put his mouth on the spout hole.

The Office
The whole B-plot with Andy being beaten up by kids was mostly unfunny. It's already been done many times elsewhere. But it was mildly amusing for the idea of Toby conducting a martial arts seminar and plugging his mystery novel, and for Creed's demonstration of "strike, scream, run". I enjoyed the Sabre store more, and all of the dishonesty that went into its opening and promotion as the employees played characters and created false scenarios. Lying is a business, too, folks.

Up All Night
A couple of chuckles this week, and it was nice to see Will Forte back, but Up All Night is still the most average comedy of the week for me. I never hate it, but it's never amazing, either.

Awake
I've been excited to see this show ever since the trailer showed up last summer. The only problem is that the trailer spoiled at least 40% of the episode, but otherwise it was highly engaging thanks to a cool concept and strong performances from the actors. I just hope the big twist isn't that the accident put Mike into a coma and he's imagining both worlds, because that would feel unoriginal. Side note: it's kind of funny that the actor who played Jack's "son" on Lost is once again playing a possibly non-existent son.

Hero of the Week: Mike from Awake, for having no intention of ever making progress.

Douchebag of the Week: Jennifer Barkley from Parks and Recreation, for being too good a campaign manager to Bobby Newport when neither her nor her client really care about it.

This Week in Television - Feb. 19-24, 2012

Once Upon a Time
Well, after last week's terrific episode, we're back to a lukewarm show. While what David did to his fiance was not cool, I don't entirely feel sorry for her; partly because she is uninteresting and not likable, and partly because they are both responsible for what happened. They both knew a long time ago that he didn't love her, but they chose to drag it out and remain in denial. The mayor says "relationships take work", but I don't really agree with that. Call me a romantic, but I think if it's the right person, there shouldn't be much work involved. If you have to force someone to love you, or force yourself to love someone, then they're probably not your soulmate.

Smash
This wasn't a very good episode. I hate to say it, but while this show is mechanically less flawed, Glee is still more entertaining, and while I'm indifferent to most of the Glee characters, they're generally still more likable than these pretentious showbiz snobs on Smash. I think I'm mostly referring to Tom and Julia when I say "showbiz snobs", but most of the cast has it to some degree. I did enjoy Anjelica Huston throwing drinks in her ex-husband's face, but it feels like Karen didn't really do anything in this episode. I couldn't care less about the Marilyn musical, but Karen is actually doing stuff when she's a part of it.

Glee
Season three has been the most horrendous season yet, but this episode was almost good. I think the stuff with Karofsky was handled without being exaggerated, misguided, inaccurate, or glossed over, and that is rare for Glee and its sloppy, unrealistic writing. But we still got the usual ridiculousness elsewhere, like Finn and Rachel moving their wedding up AGAIN, and Quinn getting in a random car accident just for the sake of shock value. Also, it stands out too much when choirs other than New Directions perform, and they have one person singing lead and everyone else on backup just because the one on lead is a paid guest star with lines on the show.

New Girl
Some funny stuff again this episode. I think the "Jerksica" line rings true for the lack of creativity in a lot of bullies. I mean let's be honest, how many bullies are actually smart? Speaking of creativity, that Youtube video with the CG animation was way too good for any 12 year-old to have done, especially within the implied timeframe. Schmidt could have just as easily been involved in the bullying story, as he was once fat and most likely bullied for it, but he had the Cece thing, and it gave Winston something to do, which was no doubt funnier than any scene involving his girlfriend would have been, so it worked out. I think Nick kind of got the dud story this week, but it was interesting watching his emotional state at the science fair. On a side note, I was glad to see no volcanoes at the science fair, because that is one of the hugest school cliches out there, although they could have used that as an opportunity for a joke about it. The flashlight duct-taped to the ball was a hilarious one.

Survivor: One World
Colton (which might be in my top 10 least favourite baby names) is already shaping up to be the villain of the season, although he seems to vary between arrogantly thinking he's going to control the game and wandering around helplessly because nobody wants to be his friend and he doesn't know how to do anything. But as much as the guys are dicks, I have to at least give them credit for not being homophobic and not being, as I said last week, disrespectful toward the little person. Although Leif is so far this season's Rick, because we haven't gotten any talking heads or interactions with him yet, so we wouldn't know if someone dissed him to his face.

30 Rock
There aren't many TV shows that do an episode about February 29th, let alone invent an entire holiday - complete with mascot and traditions - for it. Awesome. I also loved the Leap Day Williams movie starring Jim Carrey and Andie McDowell, because when 30 Rock does those kinds of pop culture parodies (e.g. Queen of Jordan, MILF Island, America's Kids Got Singing), they're always just on the edge of ridiculousness but completely accurate to the point of being something that could really, truly, actually exist. Or I suppose they're accurate because they already exist in some form: Leap Day Williams would basically be the same movie as Evan Almighty or The Santa Clause. And as disturbing as the final image of Leap Day William turning into a horrifying sea monster was, I laughed. I like to think that had the hot supermodels not shown up, Liz would have backed out at least half way through having sex with Stevie from Eastbound and Down. Not out of dignity or anything, just out of disgust.

Parks and Recreation
I wasn't expecting that Tom would be complaining about Ann's faults, because as the viewers we know that while Ann is not perfect, she's far from insufferable, and Tom is not an easy guy to date without being embarrassed after five minutes. But it made it interesting when it went that way, and at least Tom is now thinking about more than just her looks. Kind of funny and sad at the same time that Jerry's wife celebrates his birthday by going out alone with her friends.

The Office
I liked the ending of this episode, with Jim and Dwight eating dessert together as they hide from the women who want to sleep with them. Good for them for not doing it. Who would have thought Dwight's insanity would come in handy to Jim? Ryan is just 100% douchebag now. I think the last time he was even a tiny bit likable was probably during the Michael Scott Paper Company, and that likability came more from his situation than his character. I have yet to get on board with Daryl and Val, though. They just don't have the chemistry that Jim and Pam had during the beginning seasons, or even that Erin and Andy had before Gabe stole her from him. Val's not a significant enough character to get the screen time for chemistry, or even character development. She's been in a number of episodes now and I still feel like I know nothing about her.

Up All Night
I felt like this episode was almost funny, but all of the jokes just fell short of a laugh. So close. But I do appreciate the truth in most relationships seeming to have one who is easygoing and one who has to be the hard-ass.

Fringe
This week's episode was epic! There has been talk that this may be Fringe's last season because of the ratings it's been getting in its (bad) timeslot, so it's good that we got this episode explaining the observers, just in case. It also nicely tied together the storyline of the entire series to prove the relevance of everything we've seen so far, and dealt with what I pointed out last week about Peter having to leave this Olivia and return to his own. I'm excited for what is to come, because it feels like it is moving toward the series finale now.

Hero of the Week: Both Jim and Dwight from The Office, for helping each other not to have inappropriate sex.

Douchebag of the Week: Ryan from The Office, for transparently not wanting to wait six months for appropriate sex.

This Week in Television - Feb. 12-17, 2012

Once Upon a Time
Wow, I wasn't expecting any episode of this show to blow me away, but I really liked this one. Well, the girls night out subplot was dull, but Robert Carlyle and Emilie de Ravin nailed their chemistry together, and just when I thought the Storybrook segments were useless this week, we got that awesome scene near the end with the mayor visiting Mr. Gold in jail. That scene was huge, because it was the first time either of them has openly acknowledged the fairy tale world. This show has been somewhat lukewarm for the most part but, damn, I loved this episode.

Smash
I actually thought they were just going to give the part to both girls, and have Ivy play Marilyn while Karen plays Norma Jean. Although that would be a cop-out, and has been done in the TV movie Norma Jean and Marilyn. I'm finding I don't really care for most of the characters, because everyone except Karen is a showbiz snob, and I'm not on board with Julia's adoption plans because a) they're boring, b) I haven't known this character long enough to start caring about her family, c) she already has a kid, greatly diminishing the whole "strong desire to be a mother" angle, and d) why is that kid as obsessed with having a new baby as she is? Teenage boys have other things to care about. Also, this show is astoundingly terrible at cliffhangers. All of the commercial breaks and episode endings are at odd and abrupt times that in no way leave you wanting more.

Glee
Not only was the Artie vs. Irish kid thing very uninspired, but Sugar just turned down Artie like two episodes ago, so why is she suddenly open to him courting her? And it was painfully predictable that Kurt's secret admirer was going to be Karofsky (or at least not Blaine), because of the way Kurt kept insisting, in a lazy attempt at a mislead, that it was Blaine. Irish kid is still a sneaky prick. The one thing I did enjoy was the slightly meta moment with Santana complaining that she's not allowed to kiss Brittany when Finn and Rachel make out all the time, because the show itself has pretty much had that mentality since Santana came out. I was glad to see they finally addressed something. Only about 9,000 more problems to fix.

New Girl
I think it's official that Winston is boring in scenes with that girl he likes. But there was otherwise some really funny stuff in this episode, like the club pack box of condoms, Jess's failed attempt at doing a sexy cherry trick, any time Schmidt mentioned "youths", and the flashback of Nick entering a cock fight "as a person". On principle, I would have been pissed if Jess slept with Schmidt. We dodged a bullet there.

Survivor: One World
Not much to say yet, except that the men are arrogant pricks, and that it was nice that nobody made a big deal out of the little person. Usually when someone has some kind of disability or anything that makes them different, the show is all over it, but we just got people commenting on his strength.

30 Rock
The Liz and Jack stories turning into a Batman/Joker reference was a weird and random reference to go to, but a funny one nonetheless. I don't mind Jenna and Paul, but I think their regular weirdness was funnier than the "normalling".

Parks and Recreation
It was cool to see Louis C.K. back, but Officer Dave didn't seem like as good of a guy as I remember. He was chivalrous toward Leslie, I guess, but he was also really awkward and unable to hide his jealousy of Ben. But I laughed at his idea that he and Leslie, after reconciling, would go back to the bathroom and uncuff Ben together, like it was something romantic. Speaking of romance, Tom trying to mack is always funny, and I'm almost disappointed in Ann for giving in, but then he would have kept being annoying if she hadn't, so I can see how he wore her down (the four sweetest words in the English language!). Also the little subplot with April helping Ron hide/destroy the Duke Silver memorabilia was great.

The Office
I guess we're not done with Tallahassee, because there was no mention of Erin's possible departure or Cathy hitting on Jim (other than some obvious but fruitless attempts to talk to him). The opening with Dwight waking everyone up was funny. I think some of The Office's strongest moments these days are montages like that one, where we see the characters' individual reactions to something. I enjoyed Andy at reception, because it does seem like it would be a better fit for him, and it served to highlight that he doesn't really do anything as regional manager, which isn't necessarily his fault - that's just how management positions are.

Up All Night
I think this show stepped into the "obvious joke" shoes again with all of the stuff about saying "bomb" in an airport. But the part I did find somewhat interesting was their whole baby plan/schedule to avoid the dreaded fuss of having a baby on an airplane. I haven't seen that before. The "Back it Up" song wasn't that great, but as I am a fan of impressions when they are either really good or really bad, Chris doing Michael Keaton characters was funny.

Fringe
If I were Peter, what I would be worried about is the inevitability of this Olivia getting hurt when he leaves her to go back to his timeline. Unless he's either planning to stay, or take her with him for an Olivia threesome. It was interesting watching Jackson and Torv play this episode, though; Olivia was kind of giddy with her new-found feelings, and Peter was troubled by them. Maybe I wasn't watching closely enough, but the ending seemed to come out of nowhere. Not a complaint, though; I know it will be expanded on next week. It was just a good "WTF" moment.

Hero of the Week: Belle from Once Upon a Time, for coming back with the straw.

Douchebag of the Week: The tribe of men on Survivor. Get over yourselves, meatheads.